Week #31

This week the baby is as big as a

 

(S)he's about 15.2 to 16.7 inches long and weighs about 2.5 to 3.8 pounds this month. (S)he's getting so big, (s)he is crowding my lungs. All five of baby’s senses are now fully developed! He also keeps getting smarter. Though I am getting more absent minded and forgetful. Hello “pregnancy brain”. From 31 weeks on, the symptoms should be about the same -- some may get worse, some may become bearable.

Total weight gain/loss: a ton...

Stretch marks: I'm so big now I don't really notice.

Sleep: Sleeping a lot and still very tired.  But I also wake up a lot at night.

Best moment this week: Realizing I only have 9 weeks left. Single Digits!!!

Movement: lots of movement

Food cravings: Chinese food.

Symptoms: lower back pain especially when I try to sleep.  Needing to go to the bathroom a lot. Fatigue.

Gender: boy. I guess?

Labor Signs: no thankfully.

What I miss: Not having to worry about what I am eating and exercising.

What I am looking forward to: Holding my baby.

Weekly Wisdom: One day at a time.

Milestones: Single digits! Only 9 weeks until the due date!

Feelings: Excited to be so close!

Week #27

This week the baby is a 

Rutabaga

At 13.6 to 14.8 inches and 1.5 to 2.5 pounds, she's not just getting bigger, she's getting smarter. Baby is practising inhaling and exhaling with her rapidly developing lungs getting ready to breath outside the womb. It's official: Baby's showing brain activity! And her brain will keep on getting more complex.

Total weight gain/loss: A lot

Maternity clothes: Yes and Jason's t shirts at night.  Poor guy is going to run out with me and the kids taking his shirts to sleep in!

Stretch marks: Yup. On my tummy and on my breasts.

Sleep:  Doing OK.  I am still very tired and need a lot of sleep.  The pain is not keeping me up as much :)

Best moment this week: Being done with the glucose tolerance test.

Movement: Lots of movement. As a bonus any time I start to worry the baby moves!

Food cravings: Eggs Omelets in the morning, egg salad sandwich.  And doughnuts on Friday though I did manage to avoid actually eating them.  I went to Moes instead...

Symptoms: lower back and hip pain still mostly at night or when o sit down just not when I sit to work. Getting up from reading to the kids is very pain full so I try to read in my room then have them walk to their rooms so I don't have to get up.

Gender: Thinking boy now due to the size.

Labor Signs: Hope fully not for at least 11 more weeks.

Belly Button in or out: flat

What I miss: gardening, bending and also getting up from squatting with out difficulty.

What I am looking forward to: summer and being more active.

Weekly Wisdom: Do what you can soon even that may be to hard but don't give up every thing either.

Milestones: The glucose test -the drink was as awful as I remember if not worse.

Feelings:  Mixed and chaotic. I have had a few bad times but am mostly happy if not worried.

Seeing the baby move

Today Evelyn and William got to see the baby move in my belly for the first time. As I was reading them a bed time story the baby started moving a lot. Rather than putting their hands on my belly as I normally do, I told them to watch.  I could see as soon as Evelyn saw the movement as her eyes lit up and she smiled.  William had a similar reaction immediately starting to define what he saw.  I love having them so excited.

Week #24

This week the baby is a 

Cantaloupe! Your 10.5-to-11.8-inch fetus weighs about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces and every week she gets closer and closer to being ready to survive (and thrive!) in the outside world.  At week 24, baby's progress is no longer just about internal stuff, it's about her looks too. With pinker, more opaque skin, she's looking more and more, well, like a baby. You, on the other hand, are probably experiencing some of the discomforts of the later months of pregnancy at week 24 -- leg cramps, backaches, swollen feet.

Total weight gain/loss: 8 lbs in 4 weeks seems a bit much maybe I can give up the decaff and omelette and go with tea and Yogurt with Granola.

Maternity clothes: I even need to switch my underwear at this point!

Stretch marks: Not that I can see.

Sleep: I have more energy during the day but am exhausted by the time the kids are in bed.  I am getting up more to go to the bathroom and still with some pain.

Best moment this week:

Movement: There seem to be lulls when i am active but the baby is moving well and always seems to realize when I am nervous as he or she moves when I need him/her to.

Food cravings: Omelettes in the morning though I'm not sure this is a craving right now so much as a habit, Yogurt and Granola, cookies though I am staying away from the latter reasonably well.
Symptoms: Hip pain though it is abating a little bit maybe because I have been more active.  Some trouble sleeping and swollen ankles already.

Gender: I don't know!!!

Belly Button in or out: Flat

What I miss: Running though I may start a little bit again. I have started to walk at lunch and am hoping for more exercise as well.

What I am looking forward to: Holding my baby.

Weekly Wisdom: Slowing down is fine just don't let yourself stop.

Milestones: Reaching viability! Not that I want the baby to come out now but being here is a good feeling.

Feelings: Prone to depressive bouts still but a little better than I was.  I was a bit surprised by the weight gain this week and will try a few modifications.

Too quiet

Today the baby has been too quiet maybe because I've been so busy and stressed trying to get stuff done at work. It just seemed like the baby does not want to move around too much today. I keep reminding myself that because the placenta is in front I will be feeling the movements a little less certainly little differently. I still like the reassurance of the moments. 

After the kids are in bed I grabbed some ice cream. I think the baby likes the ice cream because now she or he is doing aerobics. I feel a little better now time to go to sleep. Good night.

Seeing the baby move

I looked down as the baby was kicking me this afternoon and i could actually see my belly move with the big kicks!  Talk about a big distraction!

Don't laugh at pregnant women.

This morning Jason kissed the baby good morning and noticed my belly button and didn't know what it was, or rather it took him a minute to figure out what it was.  Despite me hitting him with a pillow f few times he persisted until at last I thought he had gotten over his humor.  Unfortunately he decided instead of trying to stop laughing he would crack a joke about my belly button about how he thought it was a mole that had been removed until he figured it out - starting the laughing all over again.  After hitting him with the pillow again i gave up and got in the shower.  What a way to start the day...

:(

Week #23

This week the baby is a 

Grapefruit! At about 10.5 to 11.8 inches and about 12.7 to 20.8 ounces, baby's not just getting bigger, (s)he's getting even cuter.  At 23 weeks, baby’s really getting ready for her big debut, listening in on what’s going on in the outside world.  The kids were excited to learn that the baby can hear them!

Total weight gain/loss:

Stretch marks: Not unless they are hiding under my belly...

Sleep: Still need a lot but getting better as time goes on.

Best moment this week: Aunt Sarah coming into town even though the baby was being stubborn and stopped kicking every time I put her hand on my belly.

Movement: Getting more regular though it is hard to feel when I am active on the weekends.  Also because the placenta is in the front the kicks I feel are all low or on the sides which is interesting.

Food cravings: Chocolate chip cookies, though I still have not had them.

Symptoms: Hip pain and swollen ankles.

Gender: I'm teetering between boy and girl, I still think the baby is a girl but since it was so big at the last ultrasound maybe it is a boy.  And Jason thinks it is a boy and he didn't look away at the ultrasound so maybe he saw something...

Labor Signs: None!

Belly Button in or out: Flat, already.

What I miss: I miss playing with the kids with out thinking - am i going to get kicked in the stomach.  or can i get through that with out getting stuck....  I miss exercising with abandon.

What I am looking forward to: Having a lower level of anxiety.  I feel like I am focused on all of the wrong things. And am trying to focus on the here and now instead of what was or what may occur.

Weekly Wisdom:  Live in the moment.

Milestones: No big milestones this week.

Feelings: Depressed, Anxious but determined and excited.

Week #22

This week the baby is a 

Papaya.  The baby has more developed eyes and lips (s)he is looking more like a newborn! (S)he sleeps 12-14 hours per day leaving plenty of time to get those kicks in!  The baby is starting to invade my space making me short of breath at times and my belly is really starting to grow!
Total weight gain/loss:

Stretch marks: Not that I have noticed but I am getting bigger faster so I'm sure I will see them soon.

Sleep: Need a ton of sleep but am not sleeping well due to the pain in the hip area.

Best moment this week: Having the kids feel the baby move however I'm not so sure they have really felt it as they didn't get excited until after I asked if they felt that ;)

Movement: More and more every day, it is very reassuring.

Food cravings: Sweets, chocolate chip cookies though I have avoided them so far. Still doing eggs in the morning and now eating lots of Yogurt though the later is less a craving and more necessity with all the antibiotics that I was on.

Symptoms: Still with the pain.  I am trying to exercise more and move around a bit more in hopes that it will help.  No luck so far but i am still hopeful.

Gender:  Jason thinks baby is a boy I think she is a girl.  I am so excited that baby will be surprised.

Belly Button in or out: Flat. 

What I miss: Pain free sleeping.

What I am looking forward to: Pain free sleeping as spotty as it will be.

Weekly Wisdom: Get up and move as much as you can. 

Milestones: Having the kids feel the baby move.

Feelings: Emotionally volatile this week.  very sad and anxious,  I would like to get more stuff done around the house.

More kids

Tonight at dinner Evelyn asked how soon after the baby was born could she ask the stars for two babies at a time.  I told her that mommy was not going to have any more babies after this one and could not understand why.  How do you tell a six year old how emotionally taxing not to mention, expensive and difficult it is to raise babies.  William brought up the twins which had me emotional to begin with.

Though earlier today I was having a hard time realizing that this week be my last baby.  This has been a hard pregnancy emotionally and physically I know I can't do it again and yet out makes me sad to think about it. I actually broke down and cried tonight.

My first toucher

Today I had that mile stone that we all dread once we start showing -  someone touched my belly.  It wasn't too bad but still not part of the pregnancy I enjoy.  At least the baby didn't kick her - I would have been mad if she felt the baby move before Evelyn and William!  If you didn't touch me before the pregnancy, or are not family, please don't touch me now!

Paranoia

I woke up this morning at roughly 5 am paranoid that I hadn't felt the baby moving yesterday or much last night.  During the day I had just figured that it was due to the fact that the kids and I were running around a ton and since the baby's kicks are not too terribly strong yet (and with the placenta being in front I only feel the low kicks anyway). I usually only feel them while I am sitting down.

This morning I was thinking that I should have felt them last night before I went to sleep and was poking my belly to see if I could get a response.  I even thought about getting out the Doppler however with Jason leaving for a week out of town I decided that I didn't need to make myself sick with worry if I couldn't find the heartbeat. (S)he did end up kicking me so I got back to sleep a little bit and am feeling a little better now.

Your young, really really young.

Tonight at dinner Evelyn was asking me when people stop growing.  I told her around 20.  She asked me if I was still growing because I looked young. "No really you look really really young, how old are you?!" So I told her how old I am and she told me that that is young.  " Really you are like a kid.  I think you should still be growing."  Then she wanted to know how old day was...

"Really that's really close.  You look like your a kid, day looks like an adult.  I think it's because he's so tall and your so short.  So he looks like an adult and you look like a kid.  Really I think you are going to grow more because you are so short.  Oh I know your big belly - does your big belly count?"

Slight Change in Plans :(

We were planning on going to strong to see spider man however due to Williams cough and such as well as my recent diagnosis of bronchitis et all, we took him to the doctor.  He had strep...  I didn't see that one coming.

Thankfully I had not told the kids of this surprise so that they were not too disappointed not to go. And we had a great day despite Williams illness as he was not acting very sick anyway.

Announcing the baby

Today was a big day at our house. I was finally well enough to get back to work although I was pretty tired today. Also, I have a ultrasound and doctors appointment yay. 

We got to see the baby lots during the ultrasound because there was a student there who wanted to learn how to do the Ultrasound so after the ultrasound tech was done it was the students turn to try I certainly wasn't going to turn down some extra time to watch the baby turn around in there. The baby's heartbeat was great we could see everything we needed to see and it looks like the baby is doing very well. The heartbeat is strong the baby seems very healthy which was very encouraging news to me. Watching the baby move around couldn't feel most of it which made me wonder if I really have been feeling the baby and the placenta was on the outside of the uterus which typically makes the baby harder to feel when they move. But during the doctors appointment she checked me out and everything was perfect. Exactly the way it should be and she got out the heartbeat monitor. I was telling her that I thought that I already was feeling the baby moving same as she was listening to the heart beat, the baby must have not liked the probe because (s)he kicked it.  The doc said that she had no doubt that I was feeling the baby move because she just felt the baby move to. That made me feel a little bit better and more confident.

Once I got back to work I started to tell my coworkers that I was pregnant not too surprisingly most of them kinda figured it out do to my size.  it is kind of hard to hide it lately but its still nice to tell everybody. I only gained 3 pounds since last appointment so that's a little better a good healthy amount for the baby. I am excited to tell more people tomorrow and I need to figure out how I'm going to announce it on Facebook I really do like the t-shirt idea I just don't know how I would do it this time. and I do want to do it soon.

The morning sickness begins.

Today I had my first episode of morning sickness.  As I leaned over the toilet getting sick my darling daughter asked me to please stop making that noise. Thankfully (for both of us) it did not last long.

Daddy asked William and Evelyn how we could tell if mommy had babies in her belly (It drove me nuts that he kept using the plural as I only have one baby in me and the kids are already excited to have twin siblings as they have asked the stars for twins... and it made me a bit sad too)

William (without hesitation): "We need to put a hole in her belly"
Dad: "We need to put a hole in her belly?"
William: "Yes, Sorry mom.  But we will fix you up when we are done."

Evelyn was a little more practical and told us that we should go to the doctor.

Jason then went into a long talk about measuring hormones in the urine and the ultrasound machine.  It was a bit much but he said if they dreamed of bats that maybe they could tell us if there was a baby in there.  And I said that maybe they will leave us a picture so we will be leaving out the Ultrasound tonight and they will know tomorrow.

Staying home

Usually I have a hard time deciding to stay home from work. Today however, there was no question: I had to stay home. I felt awful my head hurts among everything else.  I went to the doctor and despite being on antibiotics already I have developed a right ear infection, sinusitis and a mild case of bronchitis.  Now I get to finish up the antibiotics I was on and start a stronger dose of a different antibiotic. I am feeling a little bit better but no energy so be off work tomorrow as well. Let's hope this is the last illness with the pregnancy and that this new course of antibiotics doesn't cause another infection. I'm going to stay home tomorrow as well that way I can be back closer to 100%. Thankfully I was able to figure everything out with a little bit of help from my boss let's hope I'm feeling better on Wednesday.

Happy (Sick) Easter

Today was a good morning although Evelyn was excited to look for eggs at 3:15 am.  Daddy ended up cuddling with her for a bit before coming to bed. in the morning William came to get us first and found a few eggs in his room. We then sent him to check and see if Evelyn was awake so that she could look for eggs too!

We went downstairs and the kids looked for their eggs downstairs and had a blast after egg hunting I felt worse than I had before and went upstairs to lay down. Thankfully Jason took care of the kids will I stayed in bed with my cold and headache.

Mom and dad picked up Evelyn and William to take them to the JCC to play for a little while and Jason join them for dinner and nickels. I hope they had a lot of fun as I stayed home in bed I really hope I feel better tomorrow. I am happy that I'm feeling the baby move more I didn't feel him or her too much this morning but this afternoon he or she seems to have decided to have a dance party in my belly it can't wait til the kids can feel it too.

When Evelyn and William came home Evelyn came straight upstairs and asked me how I was doing and if I needed anything. I told her that I needed some apple cider so she went and asked daddy if I could have some. then William came into the room and asked me how I was doing and I told him that I was doing better and then I was getting some juice. William said that that was good and asked me if I needed anything else food or anything. I told him that Daddy had left a mushroom in the oven for me so that I was able to eat while they were away. then William told me that that was good, he said that they had gone to Grandma and Grandpa's house and they had dinner and they had some more food for me if I needed it so I could have some more. then as he was leaving he told me that he was glad I was doing better he hoped the baby was okay and that the baby wouldn't die. I told him that the baby was okay that made him happy he followed up with I hope the baby doesn't die but if he does I hope there's another. thankfully I've been feeling the baby move today so I'm not too worried just a little worried. And a little sad that my son has to worry about the baby too.

I hope everyone has a very wonderful Easter.

I should have known

I should have known what was coming on Friday night is it went to William and to bed I was snuggled in my bed reading to him. I told him to get into his bed and that I would take him in a minute. for William did not get in as I fell asleep shortly after he left the room. that should have been my first clue that I was getting sick. unfortunately I didn't figure it out until 2 a.m. when I woke up with a sore throat. I'm hoping this will be short lived.

Evelyn got to go to play date with her friend Molly today and she was very excited to see. despite my sore throat I couldn't cancel and disappoint the two of them, I just hope I don't get anyone in their family sick. The kids had a great time playing together and I was able to tell Molly's mom that I was pregnant she was very excited for me. We always say it but we need to get together more often. They can't wait to meet the baby :)

Week 20!

We have reached the half way point!  this week the baby is a

Baby weighs about 10.2 ounces and measures about 6.5 inches.  The baby now has working tastbuds and is drinking lots of amniotic fluid.

Total weight gain/loss: I guess I should weigh myself..

Maternity clothes: Yes definitly

Stretch marks: not that i have seen

Sleep: between the hip pain and this cold i am not sleeping well.  I hope that changes

Best moment this week: I have told two friends about the pregnancy It is nice to have their excitement :)

Movement: More and more every day I am now feeling the baby move once or twice a day which has really helped me with my grief.

Food cravings: Still with the eggs.  I am finally really able to eat salads again though that's not really a craving.  I wan t Ice Cream right now but that may be my sore throat,

Symptoms: The pain in my hip is horrible.  Still with my infection - another round of antibiotics and then a different cream for prophylaxis.

Gender: Unknown, I want it to be a surprise.  I'm kind of thinking girl though = i'm going to have to start a poll!

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: Flatter and flatter.

What I miss: Easter with my family :(

What I am looking forward to: kicking this cold's butt!  Being sick while pregnant sucks.  yesterday it was my throat, today my whole body including my head hurts,  I finally took acetaminophen so i could rest.  Thank goodness for humidifiers.  After a full day in bed today I hope i am ok tomorrow.

Weekly Wisdom: If you are sick stay in bed. 

Milestones:We have reached the half way point!  also there is an ultrasound this week.

Feelings: Ill this cold is awful.

My fitness is on hold

I am trying to get more exercising in but at a mild pace it does not feel like enough.  I did Kempo X today and didn't even break a sweat.  I guess it is a good thing that I am so paranoid as it keeps me from pushing too hard but I really miss working so hard that I can't do anything else.  The whole time I keep remembering how much I was exercising with Evelyn and even William to some extent.  I was able to work fairly hard during their pregnancy and everything was fine.  I just couldn't handle it if it does not work out.  I just keep telling myself that something is better than nothing.  The doctors do want me to exercise and the last one I spoke to even encouraged me to start running again (just to take it slow and not expect much).  With any luck even the little amount of exercise that I am getting will help with my hip pain so I can sleep better.

I have delusions of being able to do Insanity at home after the baby is born (okay not right after) and being able to keep the house clean and caught up on everything.  Still I look forward to being able to push myself in my workouts whatever they may be

Week #19

 This week baby is...

Total weight gain: I still have not weighed myself.

Stretch marks: None that I have found.

Sleep: Still needing a lot but getting my energy back!

Best moment this week:

Movement: More and more!  just a little bit ever once and a while but it is getting more frequent now!

Food cravings: Omelets for breakfast and smarties in the afternoon. 

Symptoms: The ligament pain in my left hip is getting worse, mostly at night.  It is horrible when i get up from reading to Evelyn and William I also am having trouble sleeping.  the only way i am not in pain is when i am on my back and i am not supposed to be sleeping like that, sigh  I also still have my infection, grumble...

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out: getting flat.

What I miss: Picking up and carrying Evelyn and William, exercising hard and running, I got the three of us new running shoes so maybe I can do a little bit. Running with the kids would not push me too hard and although I would lave to do a 5k I don't think it is going to happen this year.

What I am looking forward to: Holding my baby and exercising again.

Weekly Wisdom:

Feelings: Sad with the anniversary of  Michael and Christopher's loss coming up. 

Snuggle Time

Tonight after I tucked Evelyn into bed she asked me to snuggle with her.  Being an opportunist I said of course!  I pulled back the covers a little so I could join her and had to all her to move over a little.  She giggled and said. "I know why!".  Then after I got in she put her hands on my growing belly and said
  "Keep baby safe, Keep baby safe" and giggled.  Then she had me move into the bad farther and put her hands back sighing contently and said "baby safe".  Then snuggled in.

I am banned from wegmans

until this pregnancy is over.

Random pains

These random pains are getting annoying. The "round ligament pain" is worse now and I'm not sure that it really is what it is.  The position is not quite in the right spot and shows up at night when I am reading to the kids.  I can't seem to sit in a way that does not give me a great deal of pain when I get up.  It is starting to hurt while I sit as well. Though I can sit all day at work with out a problem.

Sleeping is worse the only way that I can sleep without pain is sleep pong on my back though I am not supposed to do that.  Needless to say I am not getting great sleep at night these days.

Today despite not doing anything I seem to have hurt my ankle.  The same one I rolled last may.  It is not to bad but annoying.  I'm going to have to get up and walk around more in hoped that that helps and maybe get out my exercises from PT to see if that helps.

Calming the baby

As I started to read or night time support tonight William patted my belly and said "calm down baby, calm down".  I smiled at him and asked if he was soothing the baby and he said " yes the baby needs to call down because she is nearsighted".  Evelyn and William proceeded to pat my belly to calm the baby.

Week #17

Week#: 17 This week baby is...

Total weight gain:I stopped weighing myself though i had already gained at least 15 lbs last time I went to the doctor and despite the walking I'm not sure Disney helped.

Stretch marks: None that I have found.

Sleep: Still needing a lot but getting my energy back! I did okay at Disney World!

Best moment this week: getting some much needed exercise running around Disney World.

Movement: nothing this week but we were so busy running around that i wouldn't have felt it anyway.

Food cravings:none really though I've been really into eggs for breakfast. and I ate a lot of french fries this week.  Will need to watch my weight as I really am gaining too fast I just need to cut out the junk.

Symptoms: The ligament pain in my left hip though it is not too bad, mostly at night.  Some cramping Thursday - I think I over did it. It was not too bad.  I also still have my infection, grumble...

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out: getting flat.

What I miss: Picking up and carrying Evelyn and William, especially this week while we were at Disney.

What I am looking forward to: Holding my baby and exercising again I think I will start this upcoming week.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it easy, take it one day at a time.  You will have good days and bad days and that is ok.

Feelings: Mostly happy though I did cry at Disney World. 

We have movement!

I think I felt the baby move today!  It was subtle and quick but I think it was the first movement felt! I am looking forward to much more.

Happy to be home!

After a delay leaving Seattle  my connection was a bit rushed but I made it! despite everything we pulled away from the gate a little late and got in latter than i wanted to (the flight was supposed to arrive at 5:15 and we got in at 7 something) .  Not surprisingly my luggage didn't make it so I waited around so that they would deliver it (I didn't want to bother fetching it).  I walked in the door around 8 to two very excited children and a huge group hug.  It was a wonderful welcome home. The second thing Evelyn and William wanted to know was how big my belly was :)  and how big the baby was, preceding another round of hugs for the baby.  They wanted to see some of my pictures so I showed them a few before books. I tried to snuggle with William but he was too wound up so I read to Evelyn while daddy put William to bed.

Week 14

Week# 14 This week our baby is a Lemon!

Total weight gain: about 10 lbs

Maternity clothes: Definitely for the pants I am still ok with some shirts and the leggings and think i am still hiding the pregnancy well.  I can't wait to tell people and yet...  I am thinking after the Disney trip

Stretch marks: Just the old.

Sleep: Still very tired and wishing my energy would come back.

Best moment this week:

Movement: Still too early.

Food cravings:Brownies and ice cream with caramel sauce.

Symptoms: Just exhaustion at this point. though still some random cramping but the worst of it seems to have resolved.

Labor Signs: Way too early

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss:Exercising, picking up the kids and eating things that i can't (sushi and brae).

What I am looking forward to: The trip to Seattle.

Weekly Wisdom: Do what you can when you can you never know when your energy will run out!

Milestones: This was the week that we lost the twins which has been bitter sweet for me.  I am glad that we are passing this milestone and have been thinking a lot about them.  I am excited to hear baby's heartbeat at the end of next week.

Feelings: My mood has stabilized somewhat and though I am still nervous and sad I am not as depressed or anxious as I have been.  I have been thinking more about this baby and less grieving.

Week 13!

Week 13 This week baby is a

The baby is about 2.9 inches long and weighs about .81 ounces. week 13 marks the last week of the first trimester.   (S)he's forming vocal cords and teeth and even though she's still teeny, she already has fingerprints!

Total weight gain: I think I am at 10 lbs already. Valentines Day didn't help.  Oh well I will loose it again.

Maternity clothes: Yes! Okay, well, I need to get my pants out. 

Stretch marks: I haven't noticed any new ones.

Sleep: I still need a ton of sleep but I am getting a little better.

Best moment this week: Doctor's appointment where everything went well and she reassured me that getting the cavity filled would be fine.  My next appointment is the Friday after I get it filled so I will have reassurance shortly after as well.

Movement: Not yet thought every time William listens to the baby he jerks away and tells me that the baby kicked him ;)  I can't wait for it to happen for real.

Food cravings: Caramel sauce.  After asking 6 times Jason finally got me caramel sauce and caramel cup ice cream.  I then got myself the Ice cream and forgot to put the caramel on top until he pointed out that it was warm on top of the stove top. Figures.

Symptoms: Still some nausea and cramping.  I hate the cramping it scares me although I keep being told that it is normal to have it during the pregnancy.  The only other pregnancy that I had cramping in was the twins.

Belly Button in or out: still in.

What I miss: exercising.  I am going to try again this week to see what i can do (without pushing)  I need to be able to walk at Disney World.

What I am looking forward to: Disney world with the kids and having the cavity filled.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it one day at a time

Milestones: First Doctor's visit and the first trimester screening done.

Feelings: Still anxious and depressed but getting better.  I am excited and having the kids excited helps too.

The First Doctors apt.

Today I had a doctors appointment.  The first one! Everything went well though it took a while to hear the heartbeat which was very difficult.  It probably wasn't that long but it felt like it took forever, I was a bit scared.  I cried after the appointment.

Ultrasound #2

This morning we had ultrasound 2 and learned that we are low risk for generic abnormalities.  It was nice to see baby move around I was even happy for a full two hours after.

We told the kids tonight.  They are very excited with the news and already love to listen to my belly. William would put his head on my belly then pretend the baby kicked him off or will pretend that that the baby is talking to him.  Evelyn was also pretending that's baby was talking to her.  It is so nice to have their excitement!

Doctors Visit

Today I got the blood work done for the first trimester screening done.  Then talked to the nurse about the latest yeast infection. and she wanted me to see the doctor.  my stress went from manageable to over the top.  sitting in the waiting room I was close to tears. I went into the room and got ready for the exam.  when the doc came in she had the fetal heart rate monitor with her, and I could feel the tears in my eyes.  it took a minute to find the heart beat as it always has but I was in panic mode and felt like it was an hour.  once found the quality of sound was terrible and I left in a state of turmoil insured of being reassured.  I ended up crying and was emotionally unstable for the rest of the day.

Carmel Sauce

For the first time ever I asked Jason to get me something from the store in a storm (well it hasn't started yet) but still...  I really wanted Carmel sauce.  He didn't end up getting it which was for the better, I guess.

Week 11

Week 11 - This week (s)he is the size of a

(S) he is approximately 1.6 inches and 0.25 inches.  (s) he is starting to look more like a baby and is developing teeth buds, hair follicles and all kinds of fun stuff.

Total weight gain/loss: I am having trouble weighing myself this time.

Maternity clothes: Still hanging out in my regular clothing but avoiding jeans.

Stretch marks: Nothing new.

Sleep: Waking up to go to the bathroom and still need a lot.

Movement: To early.

Best moment this week: The Ultrasound.

Food cravings: Nothing really.

Symptoms: Gas and lots of it.  Still some cramping which has me worried.

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Picking up Evelyn and William and exercising.

What I am looking forward to: The next ultrasound and the dr's appointment.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it one day at a time.

Milestones: Our first ultrasound.

Feelings: Scared.

Today was my first Ultrasound and we got to take a peek at my little baby.  I was excited but very nervous.  When the tech put the baby on the screen she pointed out the heartbeat which I could barely see so that was a good thing as (s)he was not moving at all either.  The tech took a few measurements and pointed out the important things such as head, arms and legs.  I asked why the baby was not moving.  It really worried me.  Well baby was listening and decided to start moving after I asked (thanks sweetie) which made me feel better but (s)he settled down quickly.  The next Ultrasound we should see more movement. 

The rest of the day has been a mix of emotions for me and I am drained.  I am excited that I am pregnant and relieved that (s)he is in there alone but also disappointed that I will not be having twins.  The strength of my emotions have caught me off guard and I have been thinking of Christopher and Michael a lot today and worrying about this little one and have cried a few times/  I just need some time for everything to settle in I guess..  I have a lot more confidence in this pregnancy as (s)he is one baby instead of a multiple  but I was so looking forward to twins.  I guess I didn't realize just how much I still wanted two.
Just another manifestation of my grief I suppose.  I just hope Evelyn and William are not disappointed that there will not be two babies because I know that that would be very hard. 

This pregnancy has already been a crazy emotional experience but I love this little baby and can't wait to kiss his/her fingers and toes.

Eating habbits

I am eating way to much today.

Week 9

This week the baby is the size of a

and is officially a fetus!  (S)he is .9 inches and .07 oz.  I have to wonder where all this extra girth is coming from. 

Total weight gain/loss: 7 lbs already oh boy.

Maternity Clothes: No but only because I can wear leggings.  Must be because this is my 4th pregnancy.

Stretch marks: still just the old ones though I am sure they are coming.

Sleep: Still need a ton.

Best moment this week: Hard to say the nurses visit was good as it always seems to get things going-it feels like the beginning. And yet it was hard.

Movement: to early.

Food cravings: Nothing this week.


Symptoms: Still a little nausea and very tired.  moody and a little depressed.  Also still sensitive to smells.

Labor Signs: I should just leave this one or until the end.

Belly Button in or out: in but getting flatter.

What I miss: Picking up the kids and not worrying about getting kicked in the tummy on accident.

What I am looking forward to: Telling people.  I have a friend that is pregnant and it is hard not to tell her as she talks about her pregnancy.  honestly it is hard not to tell a lot of people.  Also making the "announcement" shirts.

Weekly Wisdom: Do not make fish sticks for dinner.  They were not to bad baking but after the smell got to me.


Milestones: The first trip to the OBGYN and having the blood work done.

Feelings: Anxious and Scared about the Ultrasound and excited.  I hope some of the anxiety will lift after it.

Wishing on stars

Today the night was clear so I took the kids to the back yard and they wished on the stars.  William wished for twins a boy and a girl.  Evelyn wished for two girls.   I think we are in trouble...

1 week from today, the ultra sound is one week from today.

Nurse Visit

Today was the nurse visit which was a mixed blessing. I had allot of anxiety going in and a few tears going through my history, honestly why can't they look that stuff up in my records?  But it was nice to have the first step done and have the ultra sounds scheduled.  The first ultra sound is also an appointment that I am both excited about and dreading.  I hope for a single baby and an easy pregnancy but also for the twins I lost,  Well not Michael and Christopher no one can replace them...  but twins.  Well the count down has begin and I will be happy either way I guess I just need to know and in some ways do not want to know.  I love my baby and just want him or her to be happy and healthy.

The current official due date is August 29th!

Slip of the toung

I picked up Dad and we took Evelyn and William to the JCC.  While we were there I asked dad of he wanted to go to lunch tomorrow.  We were talking about where to go and I mentioned Golden Dynasty which is a family favorite and said "Then if I bring the three of them (kids) William will be safe".  This greatly confused dad as he does not know about baby on the way and to be honest it is kind of an odd thing to say about a fetus anyway. And so he was like three? And I said " well I guess I am just jumping the gun then". I don't think he picked up on it though I will have to tell him soon.

Week 8

At about .63 inches and a whopping .04 oz - this week baby Hirsch is as big as a

This week baby will grow about a millimeter per day and is moving their arms and legs like crazy!  Baby's taste buds are now forming so I expect I will start getting odd cravings :)

Total weight gain/loss: I need a scale at home so i can weigh in on the weekends.

Maternity Clothes: not yet though some of my pants are uncomfortable.

Stretch marks: Just the old ones.

Sleep: I love to sleep!

Best moment this week:

Movement: Not Yet.

Food cravings: Greek Salad, Ice Cream (not at the same time)

Symptoms: Nausea is all but gone now as long as I eat often enough.  I am still exhausted and need a ton of sleep. I am also gassy and bloated.

Labor Signs: none yet.

Belly Button in or out: in

What I miss: The care free pregnancy where I was not so worried about everything.

What I am looking forward to: Telling Sue and Joe!

Weekly Wisdom: Being a pregnant woman is like being a newborn; all you want to do is eat, sleep and snuggle!

Milestones: Nurses visit is on Monday.  Although I am really looking forward to the doctor's appointment!

Feelings: Happy and anxious as I start to tell people.  But I know I need a support system.

Are you pregnant?

Today when I picked up the kids from daycare one Shelly ( one of the teachers asked if I was pregnant). I asked her why she would ask and she said one of the other parents asked her because William told their child that I was pregnant.  I don't know where he got that from our why he would tell his friend that.  I evaded the question but she persisted so she knows -oh well.

Baby in my belly

January 2014
Evelyn:  (climbing over me) you feel like you have a baby in your belly.
Me: would you like that?
Evelyn: Oh yes! (giggling)
Me: I bet you would.
Evelyn: I would because then I could sleep on your belly.
Me: I bet if you did that the baby would kick you!
Evelyn: (laughing) I wouldn't mind I think it would be funny!

How did she even know??!!

Feeling better

Today is the first day that I have had a break from the nausea/dull chest-heart burn pain.  after lunch 8 actually felt a bit more like myself though still a bit worried as my typical brief reprove may be just that brief but am glad to be feeling a little better.

Week 7!

Baby is the size of a

At . 51 inches and develops one bounded new brain cells per minute!  the kidneys are also developing along with the leg and arm joints.

Total weight gain/loss: have not weighed in.

Maternity Clothes:  there are definitely some pants that I do not like to wear.  and though I am not in maternity clothing yet I am thankful that leggings are in style.

Stretch marks: just the old ones.

Sleep: I need tons.

Best moment this week: Telling Aunt Sarah today :) It will be nice to have someone to talk to about things.

Movement: too early.

Food cravings: tons though not much stick: If I don't eat what I want right away I change my mind.  There are also lots of foods that I want to eat bit am afraid of the nausea.

Symptoms: Nausea though it is abating.  fatigue

Labor Signs: no

Belly Button in or out: in

What I miss: having energy, exercising

What I am looking forward to: I will probably start up some low intensity exercises after seeing the Dr.  Also telling the in-laws once J is back.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it one day at a time

Milestones: Telling people at least the Immediate family

Feelings: Some anxiety and Unease but excited I can't wait for the first doctors visit I hope it will help.

Week 6

Baby is the size of a

sweet pea! At about. 25 inches the baby's blood is starting to circulate and his or her face has started to develop.

Weight gain:  I will not know until I get to work Monday. (2lbs -already and so it begins). 

Maternity Clothes: I have to admit that I am uncomfortable in jeans and have been avoiding them I am glad leggings are in style though I do need more outfits.

Stretch Marks: Yes but they are old. Nothing new

Sleep: I need a ton and should be sleeping now.

Best Moment This Week:

Movement: No too early!

Food Cravings: Tortellini but most food I as I make out I start to feel nauseous.  I am still managing to eat and oddly eating has helped me to feel better.

Symptoms: Tired, nausea, irritability and hunger. Oddly I seem to be OK first thing in the morning it seems to be after I get up and moving that I get sick.

Gender: I don't know that I want to find out.

Bellybutton in or out: In

Best moment this week

What I miss: Being independent and not having to wait for J to carry things for me.  Good thing he has patients.

What I am looking forward to: The first Nurse visit.  I am trying to take this one step at a time to help relieve some of the anxiety.

Weekly Wisdom: Back up, take a deep breath and take it one step at a time.

Milestones:

Feelings:  Some anxiety but it is fairly well controlled.  I am excited and can't wait to tell people so their excitement can help me.
  I am tempted to tell someone so that I have someone to talk to about it.

Mommy's fragile...

Today I told William to be careful with mommy because I was fragile.  He told me that I was not fragile in fact people are only fragile if they have babies in their belly or of they have dead babies on their belly.  he asked me if the babies were still in me and I told him no.  He then drew the conclusion that I was not fragile.  I think we will have to tell these guys soon.