Week 5

 Our baby is an

Total weight gain/loss: starting out with no weight gain so far as it should be for this early in the pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: Not yet but Jason has said that I am showing already, Grrrr. what is wrong with him?

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep: I need a lot of sleep this time around if i go to bed at 10 i sleep until 8 and am still tired through out the day. As luck would have it the kids are sleeping in for me.  I'm guessing this will cause problems when we have to get back to the real world of work and school.

Best moment this week: The positive pregnancy test!  Though there was little doubt.

Movement: Not yet. It is way too early!

Food cravings: I've been eating eggs for breakfast every morning for the last 2-3 weeks but think that that is over for now as this morning I did not enjoy them as much.



Symptoms: Fatigue and very mild nausea.

Gender: I don't know. and i don't want to find out this time.

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Energy and picking up the kids.  They are already upset when I can't "carry them like a baby"

What I am looking forward to: Telling people.  I'm not sure how long i want to wait this time but I want to find a fun way to do it.

Weekly Wisdom: Try to focus on the happiness and minimize the anxiety.

Milestones: Positive pregnancy test.

Feelings: I am a little anxious but happy.  I am looking forward to a healthy pregnancy.

Some People

J has already told me that I am showing at not yet 5 weeks pregnant. Somehow despite the fact that this is my 4th pregnancy J does not seem to know what not to say to a pregnant woman. This Is going to be a long pregnancy - I hope he shows better judgment with his comments from now on.

Merry Christmas!

Today we got the best present ever, I took the pregnancy test and am happy to say that we are expecting!  I was supposed to do it as soon as I woke up but forgot and had to wait a bit.  We went down stairs and opened the gifts then J went upstairs to take a nap and I played with the kids.  I managed to sneak up stairs to take the test which was positive immediately. As I left the room J teased me that he would not let me look until after dinner, so I told him it was to late and it turned positive immediately.

Later on Evelyn asked me to pick her up and I told her I could not as J takes the 25lb weight limit very seriously and she asked me if I was pregnant.  It is going to be hard to keep this from her.

I can't wait to tell the kids!

The zoo

Today we went to the zoo with Aunt Sarah.  It happened to be scout day so there were some interesting things going on, plaster molding of tracks and such.  A little big for the kids but they liked it. The kids had a great time and I did too though I remained sad.  Luckily it was a rainy day so there were not a lot of other people there.   The kids got to see the elephants take a bath (sponge bath) and that was kind of neat.

We got to grandma and grandpa's house and played board games.  At one point everyone left the room and I  just started to cry.  Aunt Sarah came in to comfort me and got me to calm down.  I need to go back to work and yet I worry that even with the Lorazipam and Zoloft that I am not ready.  I know it is the next step but am I ready to take it?  My heart still feels like it is going to break though I'm not crying as much as I was.  I still have trouble looking in the mirror and seeing my skinny body - I still so badly want to be pregnant with my twins.

Tomorrow is the race.  I am a little worried about it in that I know there will be lots of people but it will be early and cold so maybe not so many children or babies. 

Running

Running seems to be getting easier in that I didn't feel the need to cry today and harder in that I just didn't want to do it.  It's a good thing I have dad wanting to run or I don't think I would be doing anything despite what the doctor said.  And then there is the race on Saturday with all kinds of people which I have been avoiding for the last 3 weeks (has it been that long already?)  It seems like just yesterday I was happily (okay lethargically) pregnant.

After I got home I curled up in bed with the babies urns and cried a little and tried to sleep.  J came in so I put the babies back where they belong and cuddled with him.  Still unable to sleep.

Easter

Today was Easter and I guess it was a good one.  I followed the kids around as they hunted for eggs then daddy cooked breakfast.  For some reason Evelyn didn't want to make the monkey bread.  after breakfast I played with the kids and cleaned up a little.  Jason took a deserved nap.  At the end of it I was getting frustrated and took one of my meds then Jason woke up.  I put the laundry away and lied down and cried until I fell asleep.

Once I got up I helped finish up lunch by bringing them meat and cheese. then grandpa was here to take us all to the park.  The kids went crazy at the park and had a great time though I miss chasing them around like a loonatic I just didn't have it in me.

Next we went to grandma's and grandpa's to find nickles which was interesting and ended in hot/cold then Grandma just pointing out the hidden nickles for the last two. Perhaps William is a bit young yet.

We had a good time outside then watched two dora's.  Once daddy was there it was outside time again followed quickly by dinner.  I had a glass of wine which may have been a mistake.  I cleared the dishes and as mom cleaned up the kitchen I sat on the back porch listening to William and Evelyn laugh which brought me to tears,  Will I always wonder what the sound of Christopher and Michale's laugh would have sounded like.  or what kind of temperament they would have?

Jason was in a hurry to leave when he discovered me crying but the kids were having a ton of fun.  So I cleaned up a little and played with them.  It helped a little.  Now I've taken more medication which will take the feeling away. I'm not sure it is for the best but it is what it is.  I need to get back to work which will be a mess in and of it's self.

A fun change

I had fun today.  I didn't run like I was going to but after a nap I played sorry with Evelyn and grandma.  It was fun I didn't think about my sadness or what I was missing I just focused on Evelyn and had a good time.

I also called Val to say thank you for coming to the hospital.  He called back and we talked a little and I thought that we could have him over for dinner. To thank him I also want to make him the lords prayer cross stitch. 

The day started out great then went to hell.

I was (mostly on time for work). Then when I got there my boss had made homemade cheese cake brownies from scratch. I was getting work done though maybe not what I really wanted to work on,  I was starting to get ready for maternity leave and even let the contact on my project know that I was pregnant,

At 1:00 I had a belly check and was excited to go in and hear the heartbeats.  But once I was taken into the room the first nurse or midwife could not find the heart beats.  Oddly enough I still wasn't worried at that point. She ran out and got one of the other midwifes and she couldn't find them either I was a little worried but everyone seemed so calm - probably not to freak me out, though Jason should have been called at this point. I still figured the babies were small and maybe they were just having trouble finding them.  They got me into the ultrasound immediately and the second I saw baby B (the first baby we saw-I knew).  I could see the still body with no beating heart.   Then I looked at found baby A and there was no heartbeat there either.  I wanted to tell them their machine was broken and we needed to try another.  I told them it can't be right and I just balled. They called Jason and it took him forever to get there (apparently he got lost on his way). The doctor tried to ask me about getting them out but I couldn't listen and couldn't talk.

Jason came in (they didn't warn him) so I told him I lost the babies I don't know how long we stayed there crying but at some point Jason called my dad and he came over so that he could take care of E and W.  He also called mom and she came back from DC.  Eventually we left with instructions to call the hospital at 7pm for me to be induced so that I could still have a vaginal delivery.

We picked up the kids from school and she knew something was up as both Jason and I were there to get her.  She kept asking what was up and we just told her that we wanted to talk then asked her questions about her day to distract her.  We got William (I made Jason go in because I couldn't) He came out grumpy from just waking up from nap we went strait home and told them the babies had died.  William cried mostly because J and I were crying however Evelyn was pretty upset. It was a lot harder to help her as she kept repeating the same things over and over and it was hard for me not to cry, which I was doing a lot of despite trying.

After the kids had some dinner we went to Target to get some animals for the babies we got them two  little monkeys though admittedly I liked the dog better and would have gotten them if there were two.  Next stop was grandpa's house where the kids did a little better and settled in as Jason and I waited to be told to come in.

We made it to the hospital just after 8pm and checked in.  It seems like there was a lot going on as everyone was fairly busy but our nurse Julie was nice and helpful.  Though it took her two tries to get a well in me and both failed so she got someone else.  The third took and there it stayed as I didn't need any medication yet.

Week 12

This week the babies are Plums!

Baby’s almost done developing her body’s important systems and parts, which means, it’s mostly about getting bigger and more mature from here on out. The average fetus at 12 weeks is about 2.1 inches long and .49 ounces.

Total weight gain/loss: I lost one lb last week despite constant eating

Maternity clothes: Not yet but will start tomorrow.  I am definitely out of my jeans and most of my work pants.

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep: I am having trouble just because I have to go to the bathroom so much.

Best moment this week: Letting everyone at work know that i am pregnant.  It is great to have their excitement surround me!

Movement: Not yet, but Evelyn is so excited!

Food cravings: Cookie cake which someone brought in to the clinic.  I am trying not to be greedy.

Symptoms: Still fatigue but getting better with everything else. There is also some cramping which the doctor told me to expect since i will grow so much faster this time around and dizziness which I didn't expect.

Gender: I don't know.  But I think we will find out.

Labor Signs: Not yet it's way too early

Belly Button in or out: still in.

What I miss: Being physically active okay being any kind of active.

What I am looking forward to: the first specialist visit next week. it will be nice to have some more information and another ultrasound.

Weekly Wisdom: Too many sweets bring back the nausea.

Milestones:

Feelings: Upbeat and excited.  I am getting some baby stuff this weekend and have been offered a crib.  I can't wait until Jason gets going on the rooms!

Week 13

 For week 13 my babies are the size of peaches (about 2.9 inches!)

Total weight gain/loss: 9 lbs gained from beginning

Maternity clothes: Definitely fully in the maternity clothing now.

Stretch marks: Not that I have seen.

Sleep: Doing better just need the kids to sleep through the night.

Best moment this week: Evelyn and William giving the babies kisses.  William even told the babies that he loves them!

Movement: Not yet!

Food cravings: Brownies with walnuts and the store didn't have them :( 

Symptoms: Fatigue maybe it is time to try the vitamin B...

Gender: Jason swears they are girls.

Labor Signs: Way too early

Belly Button in or out: Still in

What I miss: Exercise and having energy

What I am looking forward to: Snuggling with my babies!

Weekly Wisdom:

Milestones: Doctors appointment next week with ultrasound!

Feelings: Excited!

Week 11

Total weight gain/loss:

Maternity clothes:I can't button my Jeans already going into maternity pants this weekend.

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep:Having trouble getting back to sleep when i wake up.  but i am typically going to bed early I am exhausted!

Best moment this week: Telling Sarah!  and telling mom and dad tonight!

Movement: not yet

Food cravings: Spinach salad which mom is bringing over for dinner tonight! Maybe done with the Greek thing and pasta salad.

Symptoms: Nausea this morning though it is getting better and fatigue.

Gender: I don't know but apparently they are identical so both girls or both boys.

Labor Signs: Way to early I have 32 weeks marked off on the calendar I am hoping they will make it to at least 36.

Belly Button in or out: Still in

What I miss: Having Energy

What I am looking forward to: Having the kids feel the babies kick and move!  Evelyn is excited too.

Weekly Wisdom:

Milestones:My first doctors visit and ultrasound were last week.

Feelings: Excited and scared.  The doctor told me that the twins were monoamniotic monochorionic which is a very scary thing but after my mentioning that the ultrasound tech said they were diamniotic monochorionic which is a lot better (a lot less risk of complications) .  We will see a specialist in a week and a half who will tell us more information and how likely the twins will be at risk for the complications.  For now telling people and having them excited helps to distract me from my worry.


Update: the twins are Bi-amniotic and monochorionic! which is good news though not with out risk.

Kids are so funny

Evelyn told me yesterday that she wanted the boy baby to be born near
William's birthday and the girl to be born near her birthday.

Going potty.

I was going to the bathroom as I occasionally do and Evelyn came up to me...

Mommy what are you doing?
Me: "Going potty"
Evelyn: "but how?"
Me: "The normal way?."
Evelyn: "But how?"
Me: "The same way you do. Why?"
Evelyn: "I'm afraid the babies will fall out."
Me: "The babies are not going to fall out.  They are safe in my belly"
Evelyn: "Oh OK!"

I'm having TWINS

I just came back from my first ultrasound and I am going to have twins!  I am so excited It's kind of like winning the lottery only scary and you don't end up with any money...

Now I am sitting at my desk looking at the pictures I just wish the tec had printed out a pic of the both of them together.  Some how it seems like a dream.  I can't wait any longer to tell my family and the kids.  Though I want to make the shirts so I guess I will do that tonight. and we can skype everyone this weekend!

I think I am going to call grandma right now...

2/28/2014

Week 10

February 28, 2014

Ok so normally there is only one of these in a week however I had my dating ultrasound  and it dated one of the twins at 10w0d and the other at 9W4D.  So you get two this week.  I will post the weekly post with the older of the two because they set my due date based on that.  My due date has not changed Sept 30.  However they typically see twins come out at 36 weeks.  so I am kind of thinking the end of August but the beginning of Oct would be ok too. 


Total weight gain/loss: I have gained 4 lbs.  I'm 135 now

Maternity clothes: Nope but close, my jeans are no longer comfortable.

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep:I took a nap yesterday and was up all night. hoping this gets better as I will need all the rest that i can get before the babies come.

Best moment this week:The ultrasound and finding out that we are having twins.  Also telling the kids.

Movement: Not yet

Food cravings: Dolmades, Greek salad, pasta salad. Jason is trying to get me to crave ice cream.

Aversions:  Pumpkin Oatmeal.  Normally I love to have it with the kids but not so much now...

Symptoms: Still nausea and I did vomit this morning.  It is getting better though.  I am also burping a lot and very emotional.

Gender: Could be both!

Labor Signs: None.

Belly Button in or out: still in

What I miss: Having energy.

What I am looking forward to: Feeling the babies move.  Evelyn is excited about this too and keeps saying how funny it will be to have the babies kick her in the face when she cuddles with my belly!

Weekly Wisdom:

Milestones: The first Ultrasound!

Feelings: Excited and ok a little scared I mean there are going to be 2 of them but I know we can do it.

This week's fruit is a prune.

Now, they are about 1.2 inches long and weighs about .14 ounces.  The babies now have working arm joints and the cartilage and bones are forming.  Their vital organs are fully developed and they're starting to function.  They are swallowing and kicking in there they were both having tons of fun during the ultrasound.

Week 9

Total weight gain/loss: I gained back 3 lbs

Maternity clothes: Nope

Stretch marks: Nope

Sleep: Doing a little better though.

Best moment this week: 

Movement: None.

Food cravings: Marks Pizza, Greek Salad and pasta salad (not made yet)

Symptoms: Fatigue, Insatiable hunger, moodiness.

Gender: I don't know I am going back and forth.

Labor Signs: Nope

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Having energy!

What I am looking forward to: Telling William and Evelyn hopefully soon.  I have the stuff to make their shirts.  Hopefully an activity for this weekend.

Weekly Wisdom: Do not keep snacks at your desk - nope I'm still not following this

Milestones: Ultra sound Friday.

Feelings: This pregnancy keeps going from real to not quite real for me.  I don't know why sometimes it seems that I can't possibly finally be pregnant.  and at times it feels so real I get crazy excited.

Feb 25, 2014

Peanuts

So Jason took William to the doctor for another ear infection today.  While they were there Jason must have brought up the pregnancy because once they were home Jason told me that the doctor said that I need to eat peanuts.

Evelyn got so excited and said "We are going to have peanuts in the house?!"

Week 8

Total weight gain/loss: I gained back 1.5 lbs

Maternity clothes: Nope

Stretch marks: Nope

Sleep: Still waking up at night. doing a little better though.

Best moment this week:  my first nurse visit.

Movement: None

Food cravings: Tabbouleh, vegetable chili and pasta salad though I have resisted the later so far

Symptoms: Fatigue, Nausea,  Burping and Insatiable hunger.

Gender: I don't know I called the bump a "he" at the nurse visit today.

Labor Signs: Nope

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Having energy!

What I am looking forward to: Telling William and Evelyn hopefully soon.

Weekly Wisdom: Do not keep snacks at your desk.

Milestones: The nurse visit at the doctor's!

MMA

So I'm thinking it is about time to give up the jujitsu and stick with striking.  Class tonight would have been one of the fun classes; they were practising throws.  I love being thrown but just didn't feel comfortable with it.

While we were practising I worked with one of the smaller girls and did throw her but before I did I wanted to make sure that she knew that I was pregnant however I was for some reason being subtle about the whole thing. and asked her if she knew about the situation...  She said yes but didn't really seem to understand (I'm not surprised) so I followed up with "so you know about the pregnancy?"  the girl turned to the girl that I was previously working with and said "I knew it!" we had to disappoint her a bit and tell her it was me she did give me an enthusiastic congrats.  Though I'm pretty sure that my first partner will be trying in the next few months...

Week 7

Total weight gain/loss: -2.5 lbs (it's been a rough week)

Maternity clothes: Nope

Stretch marks: Nope

Sleep: Still waking up at night. sometimes to go to the bathroom sometimes I just wake up.  I would love a full night's sleep.

Best moment this week:  Evelyn put her hands on my belly and said she felt like I had a baby in my belly.  She was excited to sleep on my belly and said it would be funny if the baby kicked her.  I can't wait to tell her that I'm pregnant

Movement: None

Food cravings: Everything.  I seem to want to eat everything and anything but move on fast.  My food stash at work has doubled.  And I don't think I should set foot in a grocery store for a while - maybe 8 months :)

Symptoms: Fatigue, Moodiness, Nausea, Vomiting, Burping and Heartburn. Insatiable hunger.

Gender: Girl? I had a dream and the baby was a girl so we will go with that for now :) .

Labor Signs: Nope

Belly Button in or out: still in

What I miss: Having energy!

What I am looking forward to: Telling William and Evelyn and the nurse visit next week.

Weekly Wisdom: Eat when you can you never know when the nausea will hit.

Milestones: Vomiting, Yippee...

The kids do not know and yet

The kids do not know and yet...
 
Evelyn:  (Climbing over me) you feel like you have a baby in your belly.
Me: would you like that?
Evelyn: Oh yes! (giggling)
Me: I bet you would.
Evelyn: I would because then I could sleep on your belly.
Me: I bet if you did that the baby would kick you!
Evelyn: (laughing) I wouldn't mind I think it would be funny!

We did look at ultrasound pictures today so maybe that is what prompted this!

How to know you are pregnant...

Daddy asked William and Evelyn how we could tell if mommy had babies in her belly (It drove me nuts that he kept using the plural as I only have one baby in me and the kids are already excited to have twin siblings as they have asked the stars for twins... and it made me a bit sad too)

William (without hesitation): "We need to put a hole in her belly" 
Dad: "We need to put a hole in her belly?"
William: "Yes, Sorry mom.  But we will fix you up when you are done."

Evelyn was a little more practical and told us that we should go to the doctor.

Jason then went into a long talk about measuring hormones in the urine and the ultrasound machine.  It was a bit much but he said if they dreamed of bats that maybe they could tell us if there was a baby in there.  And I said that maybe they will leave us a picture so we will be leaving out the Ultrasound tonight and they will know tomorrow.  (Which we didn't do)