The morning sickness begins.

Today I had my first episode of morning sickness.  As I leaned over the toilet getting sick my darling daughter asked me to please stop making that noise. Thankfully (for both of us) it did not last long.

Daddy asked William and Evelyn how we could tell if mommy had babies in her belly (It drove me nuts that he kept using the plural as I only have one baby in me and the kids are already excited to have twin siblings as they have asked the stars for twins... and it made me a bit sad too)

William (without hesitation): "We need to put a hole in her belly"
Dad: "We need to put a hole in her belly?"
William: "Yes, Sorry mom.  But we will fix you up when we are done."

Evelyn was a little more practical and told us that we should go to the doctor.

Jason then went into a long talk about measuring hormones in the urine and the ultrasound machine.  It was a bit much but he said if they dreamed of bats that maybe they could tell us if there was a baby in there.  And I said that maybe they will leave us a picture so we will be leaving out the Ultrasound tonight and they will know tomorrow.

Random pains

These random pains are getting annoying. The "round ligament pain" is worse now and I'm not sure that it really is what it is.  The position is not quite in the right spot and shows up at night when I am reading to the kids.  I can't seem to sit in a way that does not give me a great deal of pain when I get up.  It is starting to hurt while I sit as well. Though I can sit all day at work with out a problem.

Sleeping is worse the only way that I can sleep without pain is sleep pong on my back though I am not supposed to do that.  Needless to say I am not getting great sleep at night these days.

Today despite not doing anything I seem to have hurt my ankle.  The same one I rolled last may.  It is not to bad but annoying.  I'm going to have to get up and walk around more in hoped that that helps and maybe get out my exercises from PT to see if that helps.

Ultrasound #2

This morning we had ultrasound 2 and learned that we are low risk for generic abnormalities.  It was nice to see baby move around I was even happy for a full two hours after.

We told the kids tonight.  They are very excited with the news and already love to listen to my belly. William would put his head on my belly then pretend the baby kicked him off or will pretend that that the baby is talking to him.  Evelyn was also pretending that's baby was talking to her.  It is so nice to have their excitement!

Doctors Visit

Today I got the blood work done for the first trimester screening done.  Then talked to the nurse about the latest yeast infection. and she wanted me to see the doctor.  my stress went from manageable to over the top.  sitting in the waiting room I was close to tears. I went into the room and got ready for the exam.  when the doc came in she had the fetal heart rate monitor with her, and I could feel the tears in my eyes.  it took a minute to find the heart beat as it always has but I was in panic mode and felt like it was an hour.  once found the quality of sound was terrible and I left in a state of turmoil insured of being reassured.  I ended up crying and was emotionally unstable for the rest of the day.

Week 11

Week 11 - This week (s)he is the size of a

(S) he is approximately 1.6 inches and 0.25 inches.  (s) he is starting to look more like a baby and is developing teeth buds, hair follicles and all kinds of fun stuff.

Total weight gain/loss: I am having trouble weighing myself this time.

Maternity clothes: Still hanging out in my regular clothing but avoiding jeans.

Stretch marks: Nothing new.

Sleep: Waking up to go to the bathroom and still need a lot.

Movement: To early.

Best moment this week: The Ultrasound.

Food cravings: Nothing really.

Symptoms: Gas and lots of it.  Still some cramping which has me worried.

Labor Signs: None

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Picking up Evelyn and William and exercising.

What I am looking forward to: The next ultrasound and the dr's appointment.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it one day at a time.

Milestones: Our first ultrasound.

Feelings: Scared.

Today was my first Ultrasound and we got to take a peek at my little baby.  I was excited but very nervous.  When the tech put the baby on the screen she pointed out the heartbeat which I could barely see so that was a good thing as (s)he was not moving at all either.  The tech took a few measurements and pointed out the important things such as head, arms and legs.  I asked why the baby was not moving.  It really worried me.  Well baby was listening and decided to start moving after I asked (thanks sweetie) which made me feel better but (s)he settled down quickly.  The next Ultrasound we should see more movement. 

The rest of the day has been a mix of emotions for me and I am drained.  I am excited that I am pregnant and relieved that (s)he is in there alone but also disappointed that I will not be having twins.  The strength of my emotions have caught me off guard and I have been thinking of Christopher and Michael a lot today and worrying about this little one and have cried a few times/  I just need some time for everything to settle in I guess..  I have a lot more confidence in this pregnancy as (s)he is one baby instead of a multiple  but I was so looking forward to twins.  I guess I didn't realize just how much I still wanted two.
Just another manifestation of my grief I suppose.  I just hope Evelyn and William are not disappointed that there will not be two babies because I know that that would be very hard. 

This pregnancy has already been a crazy emotional experience but I love this little baby and can't wait to kiss his/her fingers and toes.

Week 9

This week the baby is the size of a

and is officially a fetus!  (S)he is .9 inches and .07 oz.  I have to wonder where all this extra girth is coming from. 

Total weight gain/loss: 7 lbs already oh boy.

Maternity Clothes: No but only because I can wear leggings.  Must be because this is my 4th pregnancy.

Stretch marks: still just the old ones though I am sure they are coming.

Sleep: Still need a ton.

Best moment this week: Hard to say the nurses visit was good as it always seems to get things going-it feels like the beginning. And yet it was hard.

Movement: to early.

Food cravings: Nothing this week.


Symptoms: Still a little nausea and very tired.  moody and a little depressed.  Also still sensitive to smells.

Labor Signs: I should just leave this one or until the end.

Belly Button in or out: in but getting flatter.

What I miss: Picking up the kids and not worrying about getting kicked in the tummy on accident.

What I am looking forward to: Telling people.  I have a friend that is pregnant and it is hard not to tell her as she talks about her pregnancy.  honestly it is hard not to tell a lot of people.  Also making the "announcement" shirts.

Weekly Wisdom: Do not make fish sticks for dinner.  They were not to bad baking but after the smell got to me.


Milestones: The first trip to the OBGYN and having the blood work done.

Feelings: Anxious and Scared about the Ultrasound and excited.  I hope some of the anxiety will lift after it.

Week 8

At about .63 inches and a whopping .04 oz - this week baby Hirsch is as big as a

This week baby will grow about a millimeter per day and is moving their arms and legs like crazy!  Baby's taste buds are now forming so I expect I will start getting odd cravings :)

Total weight gain/loss: I need a scale at home so i can weigh in on the weekends.

Maternity Clothes: not yet though some of my pants are uncomfortable.

Stretch marks: Just the old ones.

Sleep: I love to sleep!

Best moment this week:

Movement: Not Yet.

Food cravings: Greek Salad, Ice Cream (not at the same time)

Symptoms: Nausea is all but gone now as long as I eat often enough.  I am still exhausted and need a ton of sleep. I am also gassy and bloated.

Labor Signs: none yet.

Belly Button in or out: in

What I miss: The care free pregnancy where I was not so worried about everything.

What I am looking forward to: Telling Sue and Joe!

Weekly Wisdom: Being a pregnant woman is like being a newborn; all you want to do is eat, sleep and snuggle!

Milestones: Nurses visit is on Monday.  Although I am really looking forward to the doctor's appointment!

Feelings: Happy and anxious as I start to tell people.  But I know I need a support system.

Are you pregnant?

Today when I picked up the kids from daycare one Shelly ( one of the teachers asked if I was pregnant). I asked her why she would ask and she said one of the other parents asked her because William told their child that I was pregnant.  I don't know where he got that from our why he would tell his friend that.  I evaded the question but she persisted so she knows -oh well.

Feeling better

Today is the first day that I have had a break from the nausea/dull chest-heart burn pain.  after lunch 8 actually felt a bit more like myself though still a bit worried as my typical brief reprove may be just that brief but am glad to be feeling a little better.

Week 7!

Baby is the size of a

At . 51 inches and develops one bounded new brain cells per minute!  the kidneys are also developing along with the leg and arm joints.

Total weight gain/loss: have not weighed in.

Maternity Clothes:  there are definitely some pants that I do not like to wear.  and though I am not in maternity clothing yet I am thankful that leggings are in style.

Stretch marks: just the old ones.

Sleep: I need tons.

Best moment this week: Telling Aunt Sarah today :) It will be nice to have someone to talk to about things.

Movement: too early.

Food cravings: tons though not much stick: If I don't eat what I want right away I change my mind.  There are also lots of foods that I want to eat bit am afraid of the nausea.

Symptoms: Nausea though it is abating.  fatigue

Labor Signs: no

Belly Button in or out: in

What I miss: having energy, exercising

What I am looking forward to: I will probably start up some low intensity exercises after seeing the Dr.  Also telling the in-laws once J is back.

Weekly Wisdom: Take it one day at a time

Milestones: Telling people at least the Immediate family

Feelings: Some anxiety and Unease but excited I can't wait for the first doctors visit I hope it will help.

Mommy's fragile...

Today I told William to be careful with mommy because I was fragile.  He told me that I was not fragile in fact people are only fragile if they have babies in their belly or of they have dead babies on their belly.  he asked me if the babies were still in me and I told him no.  He then drew the conclusion that I was not fragile.  I think we will have to tell these guys soon.

Week 5

 Our baby is an

Total weight gain/loss: starting out with no weight gain so far as it should be for this early in the pregnancy.

Maternity clothes: Not yet but Jason has said that I am showing already, Grrrr. what is wrong with him?

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep: I need a lot of sleep this time around if i go to bed at 10 i sleep until 8 and am still tired through out the day. As luck would have it the kids are sleeping in for me.  I'm guessing this will cause problems when we have to get back to the real world of work and school.

Best moment this week: The positive pregnancy test!  Though there was little doubt.

Movement: Not yet. It is way too early!

Food cravings: I've been eating eggs for breakfast every morning for the last 2-3 weeks but think that that is over for now as this morning I did not enjoy them as much.



Symptoms: Fatigue and very mild nausea.

Gender: I don't know. and i don't want to find out this time.

Belly Button in or out: Still in.

What I miss: Energy and picking up the kids.  They are already upset when I can't "carry them like a baby"

What I am looking forward to: Telling people.  I'm not sure how long i want to wait this time but I want to find a fun way to do it.

Weekly Wisdom: Try to focus on the happiness and minimize the anxiety.

Milestones: Positive pregnancy test.

Feelings: I am a little anxious but happy.  I am looking forward to a healthy pregnancy.

Merry Christmas!

Today we got the best present ever, I took the pregnancy test and am happy to say that we are expecting!  I was supposed to do it as soon as I woke up but forgot and had to wait a bit.  We went down stairs and opened the gifts then J went upstairs to take a nap and I played with the kids.  I managed to sneak up stairs to take the test which was positive immediately. As I left the room J teased me that he would not let me look until after dinner, so I told him it was to late and it turned positive immediately.

Later on Evelyn asked me to pick her up and I told her I could not as J takes the 25lb weight limit very seriously and she asked me if I was pregnant.  It is going to be hard to keep this from her.

I can't wait to tell the kids!