The day started out great then went to hell.

I was (mostly on time for work). Then when I got there my boss had made homemade cheese cake brownies from scratch. I was getting work done though maybe not what I really wanted to work on,  I was starting to get ready for maternity leave and even let the contact on my project know that I was pregnant,

At 1:00 I had a belly check and was excited to go in and hear the heartbeats.  But once I was taken into the room the first nurse or midwife could not find the heart beats.  Oddly enough I still wasn't worried at that point. She ran out and got one of the other midwifes and she couldn't find them either I was a little worried but everyone seemed so calm - probably not to freak me out, though Jason should have been called at this point. I still figured the babies were small and maybe they were just having trouble finding them.  They got me into the ultrasound immediately and the second I saw baby B (the first baby we saw-I knew).  I could see the still body with no beating heart.   Then I looked at found baby A and there was no heartbeat there either.  I wanted to tell them their machine was broken and we needed to try another.  I told them it can't be right and I just balled. They called Jason and it took him forever to get there (apparently he got lost on his way). The doctor tried to ask me about getting them out but I couldn't listen and couldn't talk.

Jason came in (they didn't warn him) so I told him I lost the babies I don't know how long we stayed there crying but at some point Jason called my dad and he came over so that he could take care of E and W.  He also called mom and she came back from DC.  Eventually we left with instructions to call the hospital at 7pm for me to be induced so that I could still have a vaginal delivery.

We picked up the kids from school and she knew something was up as both Jason and I were there to get her.  She kept asking what was up and we just told her that we wanted to talk then asked her questions about her day to distract her.  We got William (I made Jason go in because I couldn't) He came out grumpy from just waking up from nap we went strait home and told them the babies had died.  William cried mostly because J and I were crying however Evelyn was pretty upset. It was a lot harder to help her as she kept repeating the same things over and over and it was hard for me not to cry, which I was doing a lot of despite trying.

After the kids had some dinner we went to Target to get some animals for the babies we got them two  little monkeys though admittedly I liked the dog better and would have gotten them if there were two.  Next stop was grandpa's house where the kids did a little better and settled in as Jason and I waited to be told to come in.

We made it to the hospital just after 8pm and checked in.  It seems like there was a lot going on as everyone was fairly busy but our nurse Julie was nice and helpful.  Though it took her two tries to get a well in me and both failed so she got someone else.  The third took and there it stayed as I didn't need any medication yet.

Week 12

This week the babies are Plums!

Baby’s almost done developing her body’s important systems and parts, which means, it’s mostly about getting bigger and more mature from here on out. The average fetus at 12 weeks is about 2.1 inches long and .49 ounces.

Total weight gain/loss: I lost one lb last week despite constant eating

Maternity clothes: Not yet but will start tomorrow.  I am definitely out of my jeans and most of my work pants.

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep: I am having trouble just because I have to go to the bathroom so much.

Best moment this week: Letting everyone at work know that i am pregnant.  It is great to have their excitement surround me!

Movement: Not yet, but Evelyn is so excited!

Food cravings: Cookie cake which someone brought in to the clinic.  I am trying not to be greedy.

Symptoms: Still fatigue but getting better with everything else. There is also some cramping which the doctor told me to expect since i will grow so much faster this time around and dizziness which I didn't expect.

Gender: I don't know.  But I think we will find out.

Labor Signs: Not yet it's way too early

Belly Button in or out: still in.

What I miss: Being physically active okay being any kind of active.

What I am looking forward to: the first specialist visit next week. it will be nice to have some more information and another ultrasound.

Weekly Wisdom: Too many sweets bring back the nausea.

Milestones:

Feelings: Upbeat and excited.  I am getting some baby stuff this weekend and have been offered a crib.  I can't wait until Jason gets going on the rooms!

Week 13

 For week 13 my babies are the size of peaches (about 2.9 inches!)

Total weight gain/loss: 9 lbs gained from beginning

Maternity clothes: Definitely fully in the maternity clothing now.

Stretch marks: Not that I have seen.

Sleep: Doing better just need the kids to sleep through the night.

Best moment this week: Evelyn and William giving the babies kisses.  William even told the babies that he loves them!

Movement: Not yet!

Food cravings: Brownies with walnuts and the store didn't have them :( 

Symptoms: Fatigue maybe it is time to try the vitamin B...

Gender: Jason swears they are girls.

Labor Signs: Way too early

Belly Button in or out: Still in

What I miss: Exercise and having energy

What I am looking forward to: Snuggling with my babies!

Weekly Wisdom:

Milestones: Doctors appointment next week with ultrasound!

Feelings: Excited!

Week 11

Total weight gain/loss:

Maternity clothes:I can't button my Jeans already going into maternity pants this weekend.

Stretch marks: not yet

Sleep:Having trouble getting back to sleep when i wake up.  but i am typically going to bed early I am exhausted!

Best moment this week: Telling Sarah!  and telling mom and dad tonight!

Movement: not yet

Food cravings: Spinach salad which mom is bringing over for dinner tonight! Maybe done with the Greek thing and pasta salad.

Symptoms: Nausea this morning though it is getting better and fatigue.

Gender: I don't know but apparently they are identical so both girls or both boys.

Labor Signs: Way to early I have 32 weeks marked off on the calendar I am hoping they will make it to at least 36.

Belly Button in or out: Still in

What I miss: Having Energy

What I am looking forward to: Having the kids feel the babies kick and move!  Evelyn is excited too.

Weekly Wisdom:

Milestones:My first doctors visit and ultrasound were last week.

Feelings: Excited and scared.  The doctor told me that the twins were monoamniotic monochorionic which is a very scary thing but after my mentioning that the ultrasound tech said they were diamniotic monochorionic which is a lot better (a lot less risk of complications) .  We will see a specialist in a week and a half who will tell us more information and how likely the twins will be at risk for the complications.  For now telling people and having them excited helps to distract me from my worry.


Update: the twins are Bi-amniotic and monochorionic! which is good news though not with out risk.

Kids are so funny

Evelyn told me yesterday that she wanted the boy baby to be born near
William's birthday and the girl to be born near her birthday.

Going potty.

I was going to the bathroom as I occasionally do and Evelyn came up to me...

Mommy what are you doing?
Me: "Going potty"
Evelyn: "but how?"
Me: "The normal way?."
Evelyn: "But how?"
Me: "The same way you do. Why?"
Evelyn: "I'm afraid the babies will fall out."
Me: "The babies are not going to fall out.  They are safe in my belly"
Evelyn: "Oh OK!"